How I Survived a Second Rate Sex Life
Growing up in this time period I haven’t had to face the same struggles as my mother’s generation. I know this. I live in a environment where women have the opportunity to be treated more equally to men. Especially when it comes to the workplace.
There are still areas of our lives that have been mostly untouched by women’s movements.
Pleasure in the Bedroom is one of them.
On the outside I have felt like a strong women. People have seen me as this. But on the inside, it has taken a lot of my life to learn that I matter in a sexual relationship.
I allowed men to take advantage of me by having sex when I didn’t want to.
I blanked out my intelligence when I was told by a lover what and how to think.
I did these things because I believed I wasn't good enough.
I put up with a lot.
By the end of two particular past relationships I couldn’t recognize myself. I had lost my sweetness, my passion, I started feeling like I couldn’t feel safe to look after myself or needs in the bedroom.
I had become numb without realizing it.
My programming had led me to having sex with my partner in order to keep him. I wouldn’t dare share what my real needs were with him to protect from hurting his feelings. I thought he’d be completely offended. I wouldn’t even broach my desires or fantasies. The bedroom had very little fun in it.
This was really unfulfilling and I marked it up to my partner’s lack of creativity and sensitivity. I had no idea that my lack of fulfilling sex had everything to do with me and my lack of connection with my own authentic pleasure.
I wished I had someone to talk to about this but I didn’t even know what I’d say to them.
I felt really alone.
I went searching and learned about Sacred Sexuality which totally flipped how I saw my sex life’s potential.
Until then, I was voiceless in the bedroom. I was pleasing my partners and considering them first. Experiencing physical pain that they didn’t even know about.
It was me, I was the one keeping this cycle going. I knew I needed to change things in a big way if I were to want to keep a lover throughout my life.
I decided to shift my current thoughts and beliefs. I knew they were keeping me in a submissive role which also affected the quality of partner I was choosing.
I searched for ways to release what was causing me to circle back to the same type of unhealthy emotional experiences in relationships. I wrote, I danced, I spoke about it, I went to healers. Each time pealing back layers to finally revealing my true self.
I thought I needed to step on eggshells around my partners for the rest of my life to make sure I didn’t offend the efforts they were taking with me in the bedroom.
I feared they wouldn’t like me anymore if I spoke my needs or adjusted their actions.
Boy was I wrong!
I learned to tune in and really listen to my deepest intuitive needs and wants.
I learned ways to communicate tenderly with my partner. This created the safety I needed to become more present and receptive to pleasure. TenderHeart communication also held space for much deeper intimacy for both of us.
When I made this shift I learned that my pleasure mattered to my partner. By becoming authentic with what I wanted, my partner became tuned in and turned on like nothing else I’ve experienced. And I could finally relax into pleasure.
With all of the women’s circles and coaching sessions I’ve held, I know many women are in recovery from being in a submissive role in bed. No matter how powerful we may be on the outside.
This has been the role of many women in our lineages. And we live in a time where we can finally shake it off.
I’m sharing this with you in case you might feel the same way. In case you have wanted someone to talk to about your sex life, in case your heart longs for a real break through.
There is something that you can do about it.
It starts from within.
Asking for help, knowing when you don't have answers.
Committing to Loving Yourself in this desperate place.
It doesn’t happen any other way.
I have witnessed women grow and shift into their authentic selves. It's beautiful.
But if left unchecked, the course of your life stays the same, until you make a decision to care about this vulnerable space within. Unfortunately that's the way it goes with any change. You've got to want it.
You can start right now. Take just one moment and feel into it.
You deserve this moment.
If there is something you could permanently shift in your love life, what would it be?
Write it down. Even if it’s just one or two sentences. Acknowledge it.
Now ask yourself if you're ready for transformation into a New Level of You. And listen.
If your spirit says "GOOD GODDESS YES" and if you feel you would like me to help you move forward, I’m currently offering a series of three one on one sessions in my “Succulent Peach Break Through Package.” This short program is set up to help you make one big shift you long for in your sex life.
If you are with or without a lover and you want to release and shift from old stuck patterns that have inhibited you from expressing yourself fully in the bedroom, for now or for preparing you for a better love life experience in the future, this is for you.
Click the Link Below to set up a complementary 20 minute consultation with me to see if this program is just what you need to make the shifts your heart is longing for.
Oracle & Priestess
Sacred Love Coach